Match:  Man vs. The Wild City

RECORD:  1-0

Subject:  3 A.M. Bars.

Verdict:  WIN

I am a late night person and like the luxury of being able to stay out late.  This can be bad also because it just adds that much more time for drinking and makes people that much more dumb.  However, more time for drinking means many more stories and I would have nothing to write about.

 Some notable highlights in no particular order:

1. Leaving credit card at Hair of the Dog after watching MMA fights, hustling Corman at darts, getting hustled at bubble hockey from Corman, shuffle board and naked lady photo hunt………all the day before the Super Bowl.  I would recommend not playing the naked Photo Hunt unless you want 15 21 year olds hovering over the machine as if they have never seen a naked woman before. 
2. Witnessing a grown woman throw a tantrum because Krissy changed the little princesses IPOD song at Shiver Vodka Bar.  Thankfully Brad (owner) stepped in and played his own tunes and bimbo took her 5th can of red bull and pouted somewhere else.   If you haven’t gone to Shiver they just had their grand opening.   It’s next to Copia Wine Bar on Washington Ave. and stumbling distance to my loft.  They have a cool Ice room where you put on parkas and drink ice cold vodka shots.  You can also check out the hanging egg chairs.  On the first visit maybe try a shiver (red bull, vodka, champaign, strawberries).  You may see me on Tuesday nights for industry night and 1/2 price vodka!
3. Almost stepping on drunk girl sprawled out on sidewalk coming back from Hair of the Dog after she had a few too many drinks at Lure nightclub.  I pretty much forgot the rest after that because all I could think about was buying a brat from a vendor taking advantage of all the drunk and hungry.
4. Grape Bomb, Vegas Bomb, Apple Bomb, Irish Car Bomb, Sambuca, Red Bull and vodka.  Need I say more?
5. Have to grab a Guiness at the Dubliner Irish Pub.  You might want to stay away from March Madness because the out of towners get out of hand.  You could run into an irish / chinese surgeon looking for a good time from your date, a rugby team trying to recruit you and many shots of Jameson.  I don’t even like Jameson, but that night I was a rock star!
6. Wasabi Sushi.  My first visit with my brother Kevin and let me say the Plum saki was incredible.  As i traced backwards that lost night it all boils down to the plum saki and spicy tuna rolls.  
7.  B & T pizza has already saved me twice.  Their pizza is very solid and their garlic bites are ridiculous.  Seriously though I could put pizza sauce on cardboard and think it’s amazing considering a night of drinks and being 3:30 am.  No seriously this is great pizza!  You have to try the garlic knots.
8. Missouri Bar & Grill and the 132 year old bartender from Russia.  I think she had a red thong on and wearing a padded bra. 
9. Seeing a grown woman at Hair of the Dog cuss out the T.V. yelling “kick him in the neck you p*ssy!” as her fighter was losing a match.  This was only the 2nd match of the night.
10. Dude!  Stop sleeping at the bar!  Pull your pants up and get a tolerance or don’t start drinking at 7 in the morning.
11. Parking my truck and seeing this crazy blonde girl pacing behind my loft yelling out obsenities and panting like a dog.  Now there are a few things going through my head.  The Deuce Bigalow “Fart! Dildo! Big, Big, Big Titties! SHIT! SHIT WHORES!” torrets girl rang a bell or maybe a left over from the the movie 28 days later.  I hate zombies.  I wasn’t quite sure what to do and at this point and thinking of a creative getaway.  I couldn’t see her dog tags, had no idea how fast she could run and whether she was up to date on her shots.  This was a crazy woman at 3:30 am walking around bare footed.  Oh you live in my loft building too?  Outstanding now go get back in your cage!  Then there is the next monday seeing the hungover aftermath in the elevator.  For once I needed elevator music to keep me occupied and she kind of smelled like thin mints and chicken pot pie!
12. Hanging with my cousin Ernie after 15+ years in hiding for 2nd row tickets to the Blues game.  Outside of the kid cracking his head open on an errant puck and the creepy old photographer it was a blast.  Afterall it was a typical city night of 5 hours all you can eat and drink.  Of course 42 cranberry and vodkas had us puckering up and questioning our manhood, but the fact that we double fisted then made up for it.  Oh and the kid got to keep the puck and the 10 stitches.  And the cousin?  Still hungover.
13. Others on the playlist include The Bridge St. Louis tap room / wine bar, Lucas Park Grille, The Tin Can, Jack Patricks, Rue 13 and more. 

And to think that spring is just now here!

Note:  No animals were harmed during the making of any of these events.