If you don't like the news go out and make some!

     Ok yes the country boy still comes out to play.  It is spring and other then stumbling home from Cards baseball games I am typically found on a lake somewhere catching fish, my finger(s) with a hook, a fishing light around a prop, 1000 mosquito bites in not so friendly places, a mouthful of OFF or a buzz.  The buzz typically is determined by the success of my fishing or how many times I inhale the bug spray. Oh and Mosquitoes do not taste like chicken.

     So picture the setting in your mind of a nice spring day on the water.  You are probably thinking of pure relaxation, peacefulness and a stress free experience on a beautiful lake with perfect weather and a calm breeze.  It just can’t get any better right?  Well go watch the movie “On Golden Pond” because when I hit the waters it is a new experience every time.

     The first leg of my 2010 fishing schedule starts with Coffeen Lake in Greenville, IL. It’s a very nice power plant lake about 90 miles outside of St. Louis.  It is a hotbed for Largemouth bass, catfish and 2 inch crappie with ideal cover lined along every point of the lake.  If you are a true fisherman like me you will never out-fish the expert showing you the lake.  That’s just rude.  What you should do is hook all of your fish and let them get off before they make it into the boat.  That way you feel good and he feels good about the situation.  Oh and if he does pull in the big fish of the day you should celebrate and congratulate him.  This is a great moment……for you two to share.  When it’s time to take a picture act like your phone camera is broke.  That way when you come back you can just chalk it up to a fishing story.

     Now this trip started like any other trip for me.  There was no Illinois fishing license, cooler, sunglasses, groceries, aspirin for my hangover, gas in truck and rod / reels lined and lubed up.  I also had no idea what was in store for me on this trip.  Where we went there was no lodging, camping or even sleeping bags used.  There is no time for that.  “When you are sleeping you are not fishing” so let’s just fish all night.  We will nickname it Extreme fishing 101.  To keep the article short I have highlighted the moments I do remember in order of how I think they occurred:

Pre-Boat Launch

1 bag of ice is probably not a great idea for 2 guys planning on drinking red bull & vodkas.  Thankfully I had a GPS that took us to Casey’s general store up the street.  These trips in and out of the water are priceless.  In one glance you can see 500 lb Bubba walking into the store in his 1975 overalls, a guy climbing through his truck window like the General Lee and Leroy in the background upgrading the curb appeal on his single wide.  I would have taken pictures but Bubba likely would have kidnapped us and force us to breed with his animals.

Boat Launch

We are in the water.  As all of my gear is in plastic bags, under the seat, hooked to the carpet my cousin pulls out his gear custom labeled and in order.  He then proceeds to pull out some toys for his pets he has at home.  Apparently he fishes with him also.  They looked like cat nip mice, but had hooks in them.  At one point I looked for cameras to come out of the woods and say I had been Punked.

Pre-Evening Fish

We had a few solid hours of fish time before the darkness hit.  So that means once I had my line ready to go I had a good 20 minutes.  This is also the time I started my modified catch-and release tactic.  I had 2 fish on the hook or up up to the boat.  I really wish my camera phone was working correctly so I could get a picture of my partner’s first bass.  Sorry about that Ernie. 

Evening Fish

Ah where the fun begins.  In about a 15 minute span I went from thinking “this is heaven” to “where is the closest hotel?”

1. Darkness rolls in…..New lantern doesn’t work.  Radio doesn’t work.

2. As I am trying to fix the lantern I hook my finger……stomach growls……and I inhale 21 bugs and maybe a bird.

3. Now we need light.  Heavy breathing, panting, groaning and a few pulled hamstrings later I finally was able to find a fishin light (attracts fish) under the seat.  The boat was shaking at this point because my cousin about fell in the water laughing.

4. It’s now dark.  The bug spray and Citronella were in a bag and the lighters in another with the chips.  While we are finding those I try to hook up this fishin light to the battery.  We have light! I stand up, trip on my gear, spill my beer on my phone and swallow a couple hundred more bugs and pretty sure a bat came by and pecked at my head.  Stomach growls…….and then growls again.

5. At this point the line is not in the water, the phone is soaked and my stomach contractions have increased to 4 growls every minute.  This is not a good thing.

6. Oh shit!  No literally….nature has spoken and I am now in crisis mode I.B.S level 3.  When you move to this I.B.S. level you think irrationally and feel the world will end in less then 5 minutes.  “Up the anchor! Up the fishing lines! We have 1 minute and 21 seconds to get to that bathroom!”  The fishing light never got the memo and wrapped itself around the prop as I am motoring for my life to the bathroom.  R.I.P fishing light.  You have been with me for 5 years, but I only knew you for 20 minutes.

7.  We made it to shore and I duck walk to the bathroom.  After a few tense moments teetering on life and death I made it without an alien climbing up inside me……Time to restart.

Overnight Fish

Good times.  Stars come out and the weather is perfect. We decide to anchor in the middle of the lake so the locals couldn’t reach us.  Well that and the bugs were less crazy.   

• Here I hooked and “let go” another catfish.  My plan works perfectly.

• The best part was around 4:30 to 5:00 a.m. dozing off dreaming of bites only to wake in a nervous panic thinking my pole was in the water.  I had about 20 bites in that 30 minute span.  It was an amazing run for me!

Morning Fish

• Tossing out play frogs to the mossy coves, I let my cousin Ernie hook the first one early morning.  I then hook one a minute later.

• We roam around the lake ½ asleep trying to figure out what day it is and when we would catch the next big one.  He’s feeling pressured that I have caught up to him so he breaks out the bobber and Bass Assassin and pulls in a mess of fish………..averaging 2 inches each.   Nice haul!

• The day was getting later and our patience thin.  This is when the “fish stole the damn frog”.  A quick pop and then the bass jumps at the frog. The pole whips and the line snaps.  The bass stole his $10 lure and will be looking stupid the next 3 weeks with a fake frog sticking out of his mouth.  Why fret when you have a tackle box full of cat nip mice?  On goes the mouse toy!

• Oh and I forever will have flying mice nightmares.  Maybe he heard me laughing at his Frog takedown maybe not.  Maybe it was an accident after that maybe not.  What I will not forget is a flying mouse coming 100 M.P.H. towards my head after it was yanked from a snagged branch.  I hate mice!

The next scheduled fishing trip is the end of April when I head to Kentucky Lake.  It is a dry county so I am working on some undercover methods of concealment. 

Until then keep your friends close and your fake frog lures closer!

STL Playbook:  Click for details

Match:  Man vs. The Wild City

RECORD:  1-1

Subject:  Parking at / around loft (not in garage)

Verdict:  Close Loss

Where do I start and how did I get into the daily chaos of sifting through dimes in my console like a crack head to get an extra 7 minutes at the meter or making sure I carry a wad of $5’s to pay the parking attendant who usually doesn’t have change, but makes sure he has a dozen of wings to go to town on.  Well see it’s a little complicated.  My loft came with with an underground parking garage.  What a great perk!  Well not with this guy and his full bed Ford F-150.  To get in that garage you have to have a ”SMART” car or at least a 2 door.  Really any size car that can fit in the bed of my truck.  So here I am parking on the street or the parking lot which severely threatens my 2 months break-in free track record.

Parking on the streets with a meter is free after 6:00 P.M. and on weekends.  This usually works out on Monday and Tuesday because it is usually quiet.  Even the active need a few days downtime.  When there isn’t a spot there is where things start to piss you off.  There is a lot full of glass (1 flat tire) in the back that is $5.00 a night and $10 on main events.  A few situations:

• Parking lot attendant doesn’t have change for a $20 (Yes he is eating chicken wings again), but then says “Do you have anything smaller.  Can you just give me $10 and come back later for change?”  He then says “you can’t park unless you make change.”  What parking attendant doesn’t have change for a $20?  After thinking more I probably am just buying his next order of wings or helping with a down payment on his next dentist appointment for his toof. 
• The parking lot attendant is not always there every night and they expect you to roll up a $5 and place in the rusted aluminum container for the spot your on.  You can then stop by St. Louis Urgent Care on your way in for a tetanus shot.  If you don’t follow these steps you will have a ticket the next morning that says “see attendant”.  Sometimes you can just leave the old ones in there and fake them if they don’t read it.  I think after 4 or 5 that say “see attendant” they pick up that I am dodging them.
• Don’t get me started on no in/out priveleges and charging $10 because of an NCAA event.  $20 for the day to park in front of my loft.

Now one can argue that I should buck up and pay $80 a month for a parking permit or follow the rules for $5 parking.  I personally don’t blame the attendants for doing their job or having public parking.  This is a valuable revenue maker and a place to park for visitors to St. Louis.  The reason that I am taking this one negative is that it still seems that the city doesn’t do anything to attract residents and provide benefits of paying a St. Louis City Tax.  They can care less if you live there and care less if you don’t have change apparently. 

Note:  This loss could change in the future when I buy a car that will fit in the underground garage.  Or maybe it will be a scooter or motorcycle.  After that I can care less about parking.

STL Playbook:  Click for details

Match:  Man vs. The Wild City

RECORD:  1-0

Subject:  3 A.M. Bars.

Verdict:  WIN

I am a late night person and like the luxury of being able to stay out late.  This can be bad also because it just adds that much more time for drinking and makes people that much more dumb.  However, more time for drinking means many more stories and I would have nothing to write about.

 Some notable highlights in no particular order:

1. Leaving credit card at Hair of the Dog after watching MMA fights, hustling Corman at darts, getting hustled at bubble hockey from Corman, shuffle board and naked lady photo hunt………all the day before the Super Bowl.  I would recommend not playing the naked Photo Hunt unless you want 15 21 year olds hovering over the machine as if they have never seen a naked woman before. 
2. Witnessing a grown woman throw a tantrum because Krissy changed the little princesses IPOD song at Shiver Vodka Bar.  Thankfully Brad (owner) stepped in and played his own tunes and bimbo took her 5th can of red bull and pouted somewhere else.   If you haven’t gone to Shiver they just had their grand opening.   It’s next to Copia Wine Bar on Washington Ave. and stumbling distance to my loft.  They have a cool Ice room where you put on parkas and drink ice cold vodka shots.  You can also check out the hanging egg chairs.  On the first visit maybe try a shiver (red bull, vodka, champaign, strawberries).  You may see me on Tuesday nights for industry night and 1/2 price vodka!
3. Almost stepping on drunk girl sprawled out on sidewalk coming back from Hair of the Dog after she had a few too many drinks at Lure nightclub.  I pretty much forgot the rest after that because all I could think about was buying a brat from a vendor taking advantage of all the drunk and hungry.
4. Grape Bomb, Vegas Bomb, Apple Bomb, Irish Car Bomb, Sambuca, Red Bull and vodka.  Need I say more?
5. Have to grab a Guiness at the Dubliner Irish Pub.  You might want to stay away from March Madness because the out of towners get out of hand.  You could run into an irish / chinese surgeon looking for a good time from your date, a rugby team trying to recruit you and many shots of Jameson.  I don’t even like Jameson, but that night I was a rock star!
6. Wasabi Sushi.  My first visit with my brother Kevin and let me say the Plum saki was incredible.  As i traced backwards that lost night it all boils down to the plum saki and spicy tuna rolls.  
7.  B & T pizza has already saved me twice.  Their pizza is very solid and their garlic bites are ridiculous.  Seriously though I could put pizza sauce on cardboard and think it’s amazing considering a night of drinks and being 3:30 am.  No seriously this is great pizza!  You have to try the garlic knots.
8. Missouri Bar & Grill and the 132 year old bartender from Russia.  I think she had a red thong on and wearing a padded bra. 
9. Seeing a grown woman at Hair of the Dog cuss out the T.V. yelling “kick him in the neck you p*ssy!” as her fighter was losing a match.  This was only the 2nd match of the night.
10. Dude!  Stop sleeping at the bar!  Pull your pants up and get a tolerance or don’t start drinking at 7 in the morning.
11. Parking my truck and seeing this crazy blonde girl pacing behind my loft yelling out obsenities and panting like a dog.  Now there are a few things going through my head.  The Deuce Bigalow “Fart! Dildo! Big, Big, Big Titties! SHIT! SHIT WHORES!” torrets girl rang a bell or maybe a left over from the the movie 28 days later.  I hate zombies.  I wasn’t quite sure what to do and at this point and thinking of a creative getaway.  I couldn’t see her dog tags, had no idea how fast she could run and whether she was up to date on her shots.  This was a crazy woman at 3:30 am walking around bare footed.  Oh you live in my loft building too?  Outstanding now go get back in your cage!  Then there is the next monday seeing the hungover aftermath in the elevator.  For once I needed elevator music to keep me occupied and she kind of smelled like thin mints and chicken pot pie!
12. Hanging with my cousin Ernie after 15+ years in hiding for 2nd row tickets to the Blues game.  Outside of the kid cracking his head open on an errant puck and the creepy old photographer it was a blast.  Afterall it was a typical city night of 5 hours all you can eat and drink.  Of course 42 cranberry and vodkas had us puckering up and questioning our manhood, but the fact that we double fisted then made up for it.  Oh and the kid got to keep the puck and the 10 stitches.  And the cousin?  Still hungover.
13. Others on the playlist include The Bridge St. Louis tap room / wine bar, Lucas Park Grille, The Tin Can, Jack Patricks, Rue 13 and more. 

And to think that spring is just now here!

Note:  No animals were harmed during the making of any of these events.

Hours of Operation

Monday through Thursday: 11:00 a.m. – 11:00 p.m.
Friday and Saturday: 11:00 a.m. – 1:00 a.m.
Sunday: 1:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.

Early and Late Night Happy Hours

Monday through Friday: 3:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m.
Monday through Thursday: 9:00 p.m. – close

Friday and Saturday: 10:00 p.m. – close

1/2 off select draft beer
1/2 off mango margaritas
$16 pitchers of sangria
$5.00 select wine by the glass

Location:

Close

Overview

Living in St. Louis Downtown, Tuesday nights can be a little slow when it comes to entertainment.  This is the perfect time to get out and explore some of the new and unique restaurants that are offered in the city.  On this night the choice was Mango Restaurant.  It’s menu is a Peruvian Cuisine blending spices and flavors from Spanish, Incan, African, and Asian cultures.  It’s menu has a wide variety of beef, chicken, shrimp, fish and vegan menu options that cater to everyone.

The restaurant itself sits off to the side of Washington Ave on Lucas Ave.  As you walk past the draped entrance you get an instant whiff of this fusion food and instantly want to check out what’s smelling so good.   The restaurant decor is contemporary, but comfortable.  There is a full service bar that will mix up any normal drink or maybe one of their house specialties such as the Mango Margarita or Sangria.  Below is the first visit meal:

Drinks

We went with “Nori’s Sangria”.   A glass was $7.50 and a pitcher was $24.00 which served 4 to 6 glass.  Naturally I justified getting the pitcher.  It was probably one of the best Sangria’s I have had.  This got the night started and the likely reason I thought it was such a great idea to visit the vodka bar “SHIVER” after dinner.

Appetizer

ANTICUCHOS DE CARNE – $9

Two marinated beef skewers with dipping sauce.  It also came with a couple of golden potatoes, a “green sauce” that had a pesto taste and some white cornish(?) pieces.  Didn’t care for those, but the beef was very tender and had a good spice to it.

House Salad $4
Mix of field greens, roasted red peppers, fresh mango and cilantro, tossed in light olive oil and lemon dressing. 

Dinner

POLLO A LA PARILLA – $12

“Chicken breast marinated in white wine and garlic, grilled and served with golden potato and oregano infused tomatoes”.   Overall this dish was average.  There was a little confusion in that white wine and garlic is more a marinade versus a sauce.  The chicken could have used another garnish and was a little on the dry side.

PESCADO A LA CHORRILLANA – $16
“Sauteed tilapia, onions and tomatoes garnished with Peruvian black olives, sliced egg, fried toast served with white rice and golden potato.”  This was our waitress Desi’s favorite dish.  It is now my favorite dish.  The rice served with it was very good and had a chicken broth taste mixed in.  The talapia was cooked perfect with plenty of onions, tomatoes and olives.  The hilarious part was the “fried toast” was about 1″ long and 1/2″ wide and the sliced egg was the sice of a nickel.

Overall 

Overall this restaurant will go on the list of restaurants to visit again.  The drinks were great, the service was very helpful and honest.  The waitress would help recommend dishes to us that were in the range of what our tastes were and also showcased some favorite authentic dishes.  The food was interesting and something I hadn’t had before, but loved most of it.  The prices were about average for a fusion restaurant where entrees ranged from $10 to $18 with a few up to $25.

Dinner for 2:  $70 (Drinks, appetizer, 1 salad and 2 entrees)

First Month Break-in Free

Official Time:  1 Month, 13 Days, 17 Hours, 46 Minutes

So what is all this talk about crime in the city?  Here’s to a murder free month of February.  One month down and the worst crime I have had to date is someone keeps putting flyers on my vehicle right before the rain.  No I won’te be seeing  Divas of the Lou  this year even after the 10th flyer.  I am sure Ebony Eyez, Chocolate Tai and Unladylike are off the hook though.  Or is it off the chain?

I found some interesting stats on crime over the last month.  I am not sure what everyone is so worried about.  I think this “crime rating” is a little overrated.  I mean there was only 1 stolen car, 33 thefts, 9 assaults, 7 burglaries and 3 drug busts in the Downtown area.  I think a couple of those thefts were reported by me after having to pay $6.00 for a Guiness on St. Patrick’s Day! 

STL Crime Map (02/06/2010 – 03/15/2010)

So yes I am back in the city after leaving behind the easy life in Dardenne Prairie.  Where I trade in dumpster pickups for the dumpster diving.  Instead of watching Rachel drive her 4 wheel Barbie car around the cul de sac it’s Leroy working the locust dog park with a shopping cart.  Out with the lawn service and in with the street sweepers.  PTO conferences, family outings, church picnics, neighborhood socials and irritated and nosey neighbors are all out (for now). 

And to sum up what everyone has been saying about my transition they ask “Why the city?  Are you crazy?”

Well I may be a little crazy, but that’s besides the point.  I say “Why not?”

My name is Scott and this is my blog.

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 (CUBS – Completely Useless by Summer)

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Yes I have decided to finally clean out the remaining items from my garage.  Some of the final steps of cashing in country for city (for now).  Although it would make for a good story I am not too sure you will see me walking a lawnmower down Washington Ave. or fertilizing the sidewalk grass although my canopy tent may be of use.

All items below are for sale and negotiable.  Email me from facebook if interested or would like to see a picture.

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An early kitchen view of the loft.